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A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours? SON: At school*Robot slaps Son* SON: OK,I went to the movies. DAD: Which one? SON: Toy Story*Robot slaps son again* SON: OK, it was Day with a Porn Star. DAD: WHAT? When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was!*Robot slaps Dad* MOM: HAHA! After all he’s your son.*Robot slaps mom*

“

eksena sa game show! PART 1

SET THE CLOCK….

HOST : ano sa english ang hinlalaki?

CONTESTANT: thumbmark.

HOST : ano ang ginagamit ng swimmer para bumilis ang kanyang paglangoy?

CONTESTANT : fast shoes.

HOST : kung si superman ay may lois lane, ano naman ang kay robinhood?

CONTESTANT : pana

HOST : anong “s” ang inuupuan pag nakasakay sa kabayo?

CONTESTANT : silya.

HOST : ano ang karaniwang hugis ng manebela?

CONTESTANT : triangular.

HOST : hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube, pero boobtube ang tawag dito. ano ito?

CONTESTANT : bra.

HOST: ano sa tagalog ang “no loitering”

CONTESTANT : bawal magkalat.

HOST : kailan ang pasko sa davao?

CONTESTANT : pass…..

HOST : anong tawag sa isdang hindi bilasa.

CONTESTANT : tuyo.

It has been said that everlasting friends can go long periods of time without speaking and never question the friendship. These types of friends pick up like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live, and ……they don’t hold grudges. They understand that life is busy, but you will ALWAYS love them! Re-post if you have at least 1 of these friend.

Pinoy Tumblr.: Margarito needs face surgery after Pacquiao »

pinoytumblr:

ARLINGTON, Texas – Antonio Margarito was determined to make it to the end of his fight with Manny Pacquiao on Saturday no matter what, and he wound up paying a severe price as a result.

Margarito will have surgery on Tuesday at Dallas Methodist Hospital to repair a fractured right eye…

inothernews:

Because neither the Manila Bulletin nor the Philippine Daily Inquirer have their front pages up yet, here’s one from Frontera, published in Tijuana, Mexico—boxer Antonio Margarito’s adopted hometown.

If I’m not mistaken, that caption begins with the (translated) words “In ~~your~~ his face.” Heh.

(Gracias, licky!)

eksena sa loob ng bus:

konduktor : lola, puno na po eh. pwede po ba kayo nakatayo?

lola : naku pag naabutan mo nung kalakasan ko, kahit patuwad pwede. wanna bet?

usapang mag-ina

nanay : anak, ibili mo nga ako ng asin sa kanto.

anak : ayoko madilim na. natatakot ako.

nanay : ‘wag ka mag-alala, sasamahan ka ng angel mo.

anak : di sya na lang utusan mo. para asin lang dalawa pa kami.

nanay : bastos kang bata ka!

anak : ang bastos nakahubad, tumatae sa plato.

nanay : (hinimatay)

anak : yan ang bastos. kinakausap mo, tutulugan ka.

umayos ka nga nay, baka di kita matantsa!

” IM A LOVER, NOT A FIGHTER AND I’M A CERTAINLY NOT A PREACHER. LET MY LOVE GROW, I LOVE YOU SO. AND FOREVER WILL I DO. IT TAKES TWO TO WORK IT OUT. NOW BABY THIS I SWEAR IT’S TRUE. JUST DONT MAKE ME OVER!”